For several days now I’ve had my two nieces staying with me. My sister needed help with childcare since my mother is out of town and I’ve missed my nieces and thought that they are young and simple enough to enjoy country living for a few days without missing the luxuries of life too much.
They went back home today and although I could elaborate at length on my mental and physical state right now, suffice to say that I am exhausted.
Not only is it more laundry and more dishes to wash and more food to cook, but it’s the pickiness of the eaters, one wants this food, but the other two refuse it. It was the constant bickering between my five-year-old niece and my two-year-old daughter. It was the constant effort of entertaining my eleven year old niece and then throw a baby in there that has severe attachment issues at the moment and, well, there you have me, a mindless and tired puddle of Jenny.
All I really want to do is curl up in bed and not do a single thing for an entire day. I just want to read a good escapism book about pirates or something ridiculous, and stay in bed for hours beyond the point of the normal limits. I want to not think or do anything. I know this sounds whiny and silly, but I just FEEL whiny and silly. Maybe it’s osmosis or something. I’ve been around whiny children and felt the need to join in.
I’m also slightly disappointed, maybe because I set my expectations too high. I remember being the age of my oldest niece, and going to visit my aunt. I always loved her, sometimes more than the rest of my family. She just seemed so real and down to earth and funny and simply fun to be around. She seemed like she really listened to me when I talked and she kept up with my life. She made the most out of every situation and even a trip up to the local gas station sometimes felt like an adventure with her. I so badly wanted to give my niece that same experience. Well, I failed. I watched her shows with her and just tried to be upbeat and happy and show her the more simple pleasures in life. Jeff took her for rides on the four-wheeler and she saw rabbits and deer, she went by the garden, she played fetch with our great danes, she just simply was here not having to be poked and prodded and fussed at. However, I had James to constantly care for and he seemed even more needy than usual because of the girls being around. I had to mediate arguments with the two little girls. I had lunches to make for Jeff, I had to apply sun block, I had beds to make, and here I am still making excuses.
Three days later and she’s gone and maybe the chance I had to connect with her is gone. I am sorry for it, but so thankful for it at the same time. I’m not ready for four children quite yet. And who knows, maybe one day she’ll write about the few days she spent with her aunt up in the mountains and how she’s always remembered that experience.
Or maybe she’ll always just be grateful for her own large house and a kitchen that holds more than peanut butter sandwiches and vegetarian food.