Saturday, November 19, 2011

School, kids, hair, pants, study

Time has been traveling at WARP SPEED. I mean, it was summer, and all was well, and I got some sun, and I didn’t lose all the weight I wanted to but I was running, so hey! That was cool. Then school started for Faith, and for me, and Jeff continued his crazy duel lifestyle of two jobs on different sides of the state. At that point I really became obsessed with the fall. Such as continuously fretting about it, and thinking how will I be able to do it? How can I possibly do it all?

Now, it is almost over, this crazy fall semester of woe. Amazingly, I have done it (almost). I just have finals left to consume my worries, and a few miscellaneous papers to turn in. I feel like there should be a giant board hanging somewhere that I should go check off a part of my life. OB/Pediatrics rotation – CHECK!

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Doesn’t it make you feel great when someone else complements your kid? That might be one of my favorite things ever. I really love getting complements myself, because I’m like that and I should be ashamed to admit it, but whatever, it’s true. Even better though to get complements on your kids, I find. Anyway, we were at Faith’s school for a Thanksgiving thing and her teacher came over and told us how sweet and smart Faith was, and just how especially sweet of a child she is and how she wants her own daughter to be as sweet as Faith, and so on. I might have visibly puffed with pride, I can’t say. Jeff and I felt like parents of the year after that so we came home and ate hot dogs and chocolate. Parents of the year, indeed.

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I have given up summer dirty blonde and instead have gone fall red. Only at first I went subtle reddish brown, but then decided to pump up the brightness so I got one of those semi-permanent hair dyes and . . . it is bright. Like the little mermaid. AND I have to go to this professional thingy with my parents and sister tomorrow, so, I don’t know. I feel a little silly. But dramatic! So yes, there’s that.

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I have fallen off the health wagon. I have fallen off and it ran over me. Then it rolled down a hill and crashed into a house and caught on fire. I am fitting into my jeans, but it ain’t pretty. A smart person would just suck it up (or suck it in) and go and just buy a bigger size. Or the size up from that. Rather, I enjoy shimmying into my jeans and then letting them almost cut me in half throughout the day. I do feel like there is a legitimate reason for the weight gain, and I can happily blame that on school. It makes me feel much better when all the women start venting about their weight gain so I don’t feel so alone. Not only is stress a factor, but also the insane amount of hours studying. Just sitting . . . and studying. I have almost worn holes into my couch by sitting and reading textbooks for hours and hours on end. So little to no activity plus stress eating has resulted in me feeling quite awful about myself. It is a goal that I acknowledge and plan to attack with enthusiasm. Soon.

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I started a bible study. It has moved mountains and shaken the earth for me. I know, I know, I know. But truly! More to come on this.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Children

Well. Well well well.

I'm not even sure what the subject was that I last chose to write here about. Something about extreme catching up or the like. Why mess with the process, then?

So James is now four and Faith is six. This all happened very recently. It's been an exciting whirl of birthday banners and cupcakes and two cakes and favorite dinners and presents and presents and so many new toys that is seems like they've magically multiplied and now what on earth will they get for Christmas, also, too many toys in this house. So we are going to weed out the old and/or forgotten and less played with and donate.

James has been . . . hmm, how do I say this like a loving parent? Testing my nerves? Making me yell more than one ought? Driving me out of my head and making any ounce of patience I owned zip right out of my body? Something along those lines. He is still very loving and sweet and offers unlimited amounts of hugs and kisses, loves to "give me love" (cuddling) and can be very sweet and easy-going. However, both of my children seem to possess another, darker, side of their personality. His is maniacal. He quickly crosses over to the out-of-control side and then it is madness to try and get him back. He challenges me a lot more now and I'm getting to a point that I never had to worry about with Faith. What now? is a question I ask myself often. What works? Time-out? Taking things away? Threats uttered between clenched teeth? I'll figure it all out soon.

All of these things aside, he is a very enjoyable little boy. He cracks Jeff and I up with his little own little quirks and manners of speech. He has started adding extra 'r''s to things, such as 'put'. "I'm just going to purt this over there!" and Jeff and I are hoping he doesn't grow out of it too soon. It always makes us smile.

Faith is doing absolutely wonderful in kindergarten and it still amazes me when we drive up to the big elementary school that she actually belongs in this gigantic place. It used to fill me with worry, but oh how quickly things change. Such as the bus. In the beginning Faith wanted to ride the bus and I thought, never! Why on earth ride the bus when we live so close and I'm home often around that time and why let a stranger drive her around with no seat belt AAAGHH NO! But then I discovered the nightmare of the car-rider line. In short, you get to school thirty minutes before school is out, wait forever, eventually turn your car off because you are not moving, then they rush the children to their different cars, and I'm frantically trying to reach behind me and help Faith get her seat belt buckled but feel the need to just drive already and THEN James has surely fallen asleep because why wouldn't he? Then we get home and he is cranky and despairing because of being awoken from him impromptu nap. It was about a week or so of this before I started realizing that the school bus pulled down our road exactly at the same time I did, every day. So I could do the car-rider thing OR just stay at home and Faith would be home at the same time no matter what. Listen, I don't have smarts for nothing is what I'm saying.

She's making friends and learning so much, much more than I remember being in kindergarten curriculum before. She is reading (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and writing (sometimes it uses some imagination to interpret, but still) and I am constantly amazed by the how quickly it all happens.

Not long ago, we sat down to watch some videos we made of the kids several years ago . . . Faith was only two and James was just starting to crawl, and it just sort of slapped me in the face and made me tear up. They were that little and now they aren't and I'll never have them that little again and it seems like forever ago - like different children that we somehow traded in for these older ones - and then in the same moment it feels like yesterday, I can see James scooting up to the legs of my chair like it still happens just that way and it all floods me with emotion. Not only are those moments gone, but the time I have now will also be quickly gone.

In other words, slow down, time! Also, it made me want another baby. Yes, truly it did, but Jeff says no.

We do have a new cat though, which Jeff for some strange reason thinks replaces a new baby, but we are all happy. Faith named her Lucy but we all call her kittyboots, because that's just how we do. She is a diluted calico color and is a very sweet and loving cat that lets the children tote her around. Faith even came down once with the cat in a dress and a pink and purple pearl necklace on. The cat was just purring away. So, good family cat. Also, she's killing the mice that get into the garage so wooohooo! Good investment.

So all is well (and chaotic) and happy (and maddening) and just as it should be.