Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Not long ago Jeff and I were looking through old pictures on the computer, click click click and we were transported back two years and three. There we sat, mouths hanging open as we viewed our children back then. James, bald, wide gummy smile. Faith, short curls, baby-face. The videos are more extreme, tiny voices that are now loud. Of course, in a few short years I’ll think that these are the tiny voices (hard to imagine) and that time has again back-handed me and left me stunned.

Chubby cheeks are starting to narrow, and short legs are lengthening. Diapers are non-existent and temperaments are well in place. I can hardly lift Faith without a verbal exclamation and James is much more boy than baby. I watched the videos and looked at the pictures wanting so badly for another baby, another tiny thing to feed and hold and be a BABY, but I know that another would quickly grow out of “baby” and into “kid” in lightning time.

I’m trying to make it last. I’m trying to keep our old habits. I swaddle them in towels and hold them in front of the mirror after the bath, something I started with Faith when she was just a wee thing. I sing the morning songs, the patience songs. I cuddle and carry and use our own language whenever possible, transforming hand to “hammy” and flip-flops to “clip-clops” and they are moving on when I refuse to.

It is obvious that each stage is a new wonder, a new sense that I must hang on to this, this right now, and wish forever for the memories to stay clear and never leave my ever-evolving mind. They are wondrous and aren’t I the lucky one to get to experience this? How silly it feels sometimes to complain about this small thing or that inconvenience when I have the privilege to watch them be.


Marie Green said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog. I honestly never realized so many other people were at odd with their partners as to how many children to have. I am so angry at my husband right now, but finding a community of other baby-wanting mamas is helpful. This was a beautiful post. I want to grow with my kids, but I want them to grow SLOWER. Mine, at least, still want to sit on my lap and hold my hand (ages 3 and 7), and I'm so grateful for that!

Jen said...

I KNOW, right? I keep saying bobo for blanket and beep beep for microwave, and I just realized I am the only one! I have been so aware of their muscles and changing faces lately. Why does it have to go so fast?

Hearing Aids said...

nice posting keep blogging
Thnaks for sharing..