Thursday, August 28, 2008

Lately - Complaining and Disjointed

The past couple days have been especially rainy, yesterday being a consistent downpour that lasted all day long. A river formed in our front yard, my in-laws’ driveway washed out, a nearby town flooded completely. It was sort of awesome in that dreary sort of way in the beginning of the day, but woe is me, I live in a trailer. The front porch (porch! Ha! I mean a pile of rusted tin!) (I’m bitter today) leaked, the dogs got into the trash can and tore up dirty baby diapers which got rained all over so the back porch (porch! Ha! I mean a pile of rotted wood!) (Oh, so very bitter) is covered in damp baby poo.

My hair has taken on a life of it’s own. Where my daughter’s hair lays in strawberry blonde ringlets down her back when it rains, mine grows out to extraordinary length and width and the frizz can be like a lion’s mane, or just like a crazy redneck woman who has had a bad perm. I have not had a perm, just to make myself clear. I just have big hair at times.

So it was a struggle this morning with the flat iron. It took me half an hour to straighten my super long hair until it was sufficiently glossy and sleek enough to go out to distribute resumes.

I am still looking. I have applied at places where I am qualified and then I have applied at places that I am completely OVER qualified for and I have not heard a word. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been out of work for so long, or if it’s because of the economy, or if it’s because of where we live. That’s a problem with small towns. The opportunity for work is just so scarce. Jeff had to take a huge pay cut to get on at a shop up here, but it was preferable to driving almost an hour away to go to work. So it was that I applied for a job that would pay me less than what I made when I started my first office job when I was nineteen.

It is just time for me to suck it up and deal with it. It is time for me to find a job already and make money once again so we can build a real house.

The only thing that makes me doubt that is that is just feels wrong sometimes. I feel like I’m supposed to spend my days with my kids. I’m praying for a sign, for an opportunity. In the meantime I am sending out my resume.

In other news, James suddenly went from having two tiny teeth poking through his bottom gums to now having several coming through the top. He’s also discovered the stairs at his Mamaw and Papaw’s and this is sad and involves many frantic sprints by me to find him halfway up the long, wooden steps. He’s also in that unfortunate stage of standing and almost walking, but not quite, so there are many falls and bumps. I want to take him for portraits soon, but he always is sporting some new scratch or bruise.

Faith is just pure wonderful in all of it’s forms. She’s so funny; the things she comes up with just crack us up. She has a temper, yes, but she is so happy all of the time and it just makes me happy to absorb some of that. She’s been especially good with James lately and now that they are at an age where they can play together is something I hadn’t even been anticipating, but now that it is here it is like a fabulous and unexpected gift.


Jen said...

Oooh, I'm sorry about the rain- and especially the poopy porch and hair issues.

As for the job hunt: good for you for putting yourself out there and trying to suck it up. It seems like it takes over everything, all your thoughts and time and chores, but try to think about these days without a job as your sign (permission?) to keep enjoying this time with your kids. The right job will come along at the right time. (I should write Hallmark cards, dontcha think?)

And I'm pretty sure a picture of the crazy redneck perm would really lift your (ok, my) spirits! :)

Jenny said...

Ah, the day that I ever post a picture of my hair frizzed out by bad weather that would surely cement my reputation as trailer trash (ha! and true!) is the day that my husband is allowed to take the internet away from me forever!

Jen said...

Totally not worth the risk, then!