It's a dreary day. The sky is completely gray, not dark enough to be ominous, just dark enough to make you feel like staying in bed and reading a book, only you can't stay in bed and read books because you have two toddlers to take care of. It was raining earlier, not raining enough to make music on the roof, but enough to make my straightened hair poof out into waves. It's dark and dismal, we're stuck inside where it's even more gloomy.
Today is my 29th birthday.
I used to think that birthdays were a big deal, something to make as big a fuss about as possible, but now with Jamie's birthday and Faith's being so close and being so recent, it seems a little silly to make a big celebration for me. Jeff bought me bagels and hummus (the way to my heart is through my stomach, aw yee-ahh) (also, I never buy those for myself because my favorite hummus is super expensive and bagels are a weakness of mine I can't allow because of the calories) and a pot of fiery-colored mums. My father-in-law came by to haul off our trash and wished me a happy birthday. The sweetest one I received so far though came from Faith. She crept into our bed sometime in the middle of the night so first thing this morning, she told me “Happy Birthday, Mommy” as if she had been waiting to say it. So my heart melted before I even had my coffee.
I'm so happy for another year of life, and health. This past year has been the most difficult of my life. I feel as if I've aged ten years, and still feel grateful to look into the mirror and see a youthful face with just a few very faint lines and those being smile lines anyway. I'm a little sad that this is going to be the last year of my twenties, and even more sad that I'm not celebrating it with many friends, but the truth is that I just don't have many anymore. I just realized the other day that my former friends, whom I spent every birthday with for more than ten years, never laid eyes on me when I was 28. It hit a note of melancholy that I wasn't expecting.
Enough of that. So here's to making 29 the best age yet, the year that will be filled with laughs and love and family.